He thought he was sick in his heart if you could be sick in that place.
James Joyce – A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
Being homesick hits you at the most inopportune moments. It is the most obscure things that give you the twist in the stomach, the pull in the chest and the prickle behind the eyes. Most of the time it can be shaken off within a few minutes, but sometimes it stains the day with its desperation for familiarity and longing for belonging.
My homesickness has been triggered by a vast range of things: by me stalling the car whilst going anti-clockwise round a roundabout, by seeing a UK brand in the supermarket, seeing Scott Mills on Strictly Come Dancing, face timing the family during a celebration that we would have been at had we been at home, the Great British Bake Off (quick query, what is self raising flour in German?). The problem with homesickness is that we are meant to be on a Big Adventure and so the people back home, our nearest and dearest, don’t quite get it. When we call home they don’t detect that hint of melancholy that you do your best to cover up with a forced jollity. I find that the comments I get when I am at my most homesick are “Well, it sounds like you’re having a wonderful time” or “It sounds as if you’ve settled in really well.” That’s when you want to scream melodramatically down the line, “No. I hate it. I want to come home. I miss everything.”
The other problem is that everyone back home wants to believe that you can’t possibly have down days on this Big Adventure. After all aren’t we expats doing something that we all dream of doing? Going outside our comfort zones, experiencing a different culture, exploring this fascinating planet on which we exist, allowing our children’s childhood bubble to expand?
We are actually having a lovely time, but no matter how many trips we go on or beautiful scenes we view, it in no way compensates for that blow to the gut or twist in the chest. That sudden thought that pops into your train of thought: “I want to go home.”
They say that home is where the heart is and your heart can be left in the strangest of places. My heart has always been nestled in the rolling, green and pleasant land of Somerset, England. Whenever I have been away from it, I have always yearned to return. So, it is the same now. Here I am in one of the most spectacular countries in the world and yet seeing updates from Mr Bs Emporium, The Frome Independent, Glastonbury Festival or a photo from Carnival season in my Twitter feed is enough to send me running to the airport.
Yet, as we continue on our Big Adventure of being Englishmen in Switzerland, and as I have realised that my heart, always and forever, is with my children, even when they are not with me they are part of me, a continual presence and it is they that help to banish this emotional(?) sickness when it strikes. Their tiny hands in mine, a little arm round the neck in a hug or simply the beaming smile when they see me at the school gate. Home.
November 4, 2014 at 5:58 am
Aww, hun. If I wasn’t missing you enough already…. Read this with tears in my eyes! My mother has lived in the UK and Europe since she was 15 but she still talks about Penang as home. And yet her ‘other’ home is always where her family is too.
Can’t answer your question re self raising flour I’m afraid. Didn’t cover that in a-level German. But I’m friends with my German teacher on Facebook so will ask her!
November 4, 2014 at 6:15 am
Thanks Ness. It’s weird because all I can find is Weissflour or various flours for breads. I don’t know what to use for cakes. I may be stuffing my case full of self raising when we come back at Christmas!
It’s weird where people call home – I’m beginning to wonder if it’s where you culturally identify with or something like that. Anyway, am ok really, just have the odd hit now and then of home sickness but I am SO looking forward to December! Hope to see you…. Lots of love xxxx
November 4, 2014 at 6:28 pm
I love your blogs Sarah! Sorry if I am the annoying one with comments about how great it is, feel free to tell us if it is horrid or tough at times. I’m sure you have heard your fair share of complaints from me over the years! Can’t wait to see you in December and January! Lots of love xxxxxx
November 4, 2014 at 6:44 pm
I love you lots Isabel and you’re never annoying. Xxxx.
November 5, 2014 at 2:52 pm
I’m also a foreigner in another country and I could relate so well. Beautifully written.
November 5, 2014 at 3:15 pm
Thank you. Ups and downs, hopefully more ups for us!
November 28, 2014 at 10:30 am
There’s no such thing as self-raising flour in German. Sorry! Here in Germany some Asian shops sell it. Not sure about Switzerland.
November 28, 2014 at 3:27 pm
I haven’t been able to find it – but my sister-in-law told me how to make it using plain flour and baling powder. We have cakes again!