I have a new mantra in the run up to our move to Switzerland. It keeps running through my head, it seems to always be there like white noise which every now and then I tune into.
Never regret the things you do. Never regret the things you do. Never regret the things you do. Never regret… Never regret…
I’m apprehensive, excited (maybe a bit), scared (definitely). I have to say I don’t really want to go. I’m a Somerset girl. I love the rolling hills, the farmers markets, the uproar over every new Tesco or housing application. I love that my kids go to a village Church of England School, that they are developing a rolling rrrrrrr in their pronunciation of words and that Grandma and Grandad are 15 minutes away. Why would I want any of that to change?
I look back to the beginning of this year and Steve and I were splitting up. Our relationship had deteriorated so much I just couldn’t carry on. I pushed for a trial separation. Then Steve told me about Switzerland. A soon as he said it, I knew that this could be our salvation. Go through a challenge together. Yes, yes, I know we had 2 kids together but what with his working away a lot and my heart surgery, moving house and everything else that was going on, we had somehow dealt with things alone. None of these life events had brought us together. No regrets though about the things we had done – produced 2 great kids, bought a lovely house, had fantastic holidays pre kids – only regrets about things we hadn’t – not talked to each other, shared our fears, admitted our weaknesses.
So, this mantra is actually proving useful. It is making me examine everything that has gone before to see if it is actually true and it is giving me the strength to get through the next few weeks. The strength to support my children and to find my husband again.