“She is definitely having a wobble. I nearly had to send her to Miss Tatum.”
This was the Thursday before the end of term. My poor daughter, who hates change, who has struggled with separation anxiety since ‘the incident’, and yet, who is strangely assertive and confident, finally had a ‘wobble’. I guess we had been waiting for it. I mean, the stress of moving home, moving schools, moving countries – it was bound to come out eventually.
It’s just a shame it had to happen at school. The ‘wobble’ manifested itself in shouting at a friend and telling another that she didn’t want to be her partner and that she wasn’t going to hold her hand. Both incidences caused upset to other children and consequently fell under the zero tolerance policy that the school holds with regards to behaviour. Almost a headmistress disciplinary event.
When adults get stressed, we have a shout or a rant at, or to, someone and then we generally feel a bit better. We make lists on how to deal with our stress, to reduce our work load, to make sense of confusion. 6 year olds are still learning how to express their emotions, and indeed how to recognise their emotions. My little, big, 6 year old doesn’t talk about things that bother her until it explodes in some mad rage. This has meant that she hasn’t talked at all to her friends about our pending move to Switzerland which in itself would help reduce her fears. Her friends could then make allowances for her fluctuating moods. She hasn’t aired her worries and so when things have finally started to change she has had her ‘wobble’ in a fairly spectacular way.
T’s wobble has allowed us to talk in a more grown up way and has shown her that it is ok to say that she doesn’t want to move, that she is worried about her new school (“will anyone like me? Will my teacher be kind.”). However, the only way I can give her reassurance is to give her a hug and tell her that I’m scared too.